The cosmic forces are conspiring against me ...

nobody@vox.com(dejablu503) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:10:19 -0700

Partially cross posted from my livejournal. Since no one here is probably interested in my healing doll building adventures that has been omitted and this vox post contains some other stuff.

My beliefnet.com newsletter yesterday held the subject line: "Clear Your Clutter" The attached article says..."money expert says our clutter and need for extra storage is a sign of a culture gone mad."
How did they know I have been procrastinating about this? ( insert eerie music)
Ok,ok in a minute.... I'll get to it, I promise.

I finished the neutral sun face collage yesterday that had me stalled for a couple weeks. It's for Virginia Speigel's Collage Mania 2 fund raiser for the American Cancer Society, one left to finish up and I am back on track time wise with a whole 4 days to finish my quiltart list originating challenge doll. She double crossed me and took a sudden turn in a new direction on me without warning last week, so she is going to be down to the wire, but so far I have not missed any deadlines in 2008, yay! Who knew over-coming a lifetime of fine tuned procrastination skills took so much focus and effort?!?

The sun face collage I finished yesterday is here:

Paper collage sun1

Done completely in hand made paper and wall paper samples ( in fact finding several books of these is what got it finished, yay for being a packrat!). Working in an 8x10 format made finding papers to finish it in the right colors mind boggling.I am pretty pleased with it, especially for something that stumped me for awhile....usually the pieces that become difficult to finish annoy me to the point I am glad when they get done and go away, this one I will miss. I liked it so much I turned it into a banner in the banner contest, votes appreciated even if they mean next to nothing in deciding the winner: Tribal sun banner

I was listening to Pema Chodron last night and I was struck by her explanation of why she struggles with meditation... she claims it is because she has "a busy mind". I feel her frustration, and yet I think in some cases a busy mind can be an advantage, ask me.... I appear to have one too. Rambling follows as I sort through this, ( that means punctuation is out the window from here on out):

I get side-tracked easily, I cannot just web surf for one thing. As a result I find lot's of things that interest or inspire me. I start out looking for healing properties of herbs, and wind up places not even remotely related to what I am looking for, like these great places:
Dumblittleman.com ( who is anything but dumb and quite a fun read IMHO)
I was sucked in by 2 articles there in particular:
39 ways to live and not merely exist and Revel and grow with your uniqueness

Not even sure how I got there, but I was happy I did. The side jaunt also landed me at Betterworld Books, they sell new and used books at close to Amazon prices, they do not have the same endless selection but they have free shipping within the US and flat rate shipping over seas of $2.97....so if they have what you want they can be a bargain because shipping adds up fast. In cases like this a busy mind took me places I might ever have found, ones that I will return to again someday. It's an adventure, having a busy mind...maddening at times yet also a benefit.

Anyway, I am wandering again...( see I told you), finding the wallpaper books that made finishing the neutral sun face collage happen lead me to inspiration for several other collages, so while I was cutting and pasting I was also jotting down ideas and sketches.... if I could harness the flow of the energy that flows through my brain most days, I could power a city. I would like to blame my scattered nature on me being a Gemini, but I do not think it is that simple. I seem to be driven by ideas, that I feel a need to acknowledge and sometimes they actually materialize, but I accept the fact that I will never have enough time to generate all of them in a single lifetime. It bothers me for awhile and then, I reach a point where acknowledging the idea is enough when it comes to most things. Some ideas I have to materialize or they drive me crazy, but some just lay quietly in sketch books happy to have made it that far. I surf scattered too, hell I live scattered.... always 15 things going, obligations all over the place... it's self defeating really, but when it gets too quiet I get bored and go quietly mad. I seem to need the stress of it, the adventure of it. I struggle to prioritize and it makes me look ... I dunno, "blonde", I guess...for lack of a better word.

Sometimes I think it bothers those close to me more than it does me. Like if a friend is nearby when I get an idea, and start the sketch or notes on it, weeks later they ask how it is going...well, it isn't. "but it was a great idea"... I cannot do them all, that one did not make the cut. "Then why bother with the notes and sketches?" Because I HAVE to do those, I have to acknowledge the idea, I just do not have to carry it out. It makes no sense to anyone but me, this much is clear. I don't pick all the pretty flowers I see either, I have no room for them all, I do enjoy them all, those I pick and those I don't, but sometimes I go for weeks acknowledging flowers and ideas, and picking none of them, & the older I get them more I am okay with this. OMG, I just realized I have been setting boundries... well, that is a tad depressing! :)

I guess I better get back to my search for info on herbals used in healing dolls, gawd only knows where I will wind up...

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Me...looking determined...

nobody@vox.com(dejablu503) — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:34:34 -0700

Me052007

and very old....where did all that gray hair come from? Just wait until I cut it short... I wonder how well purple covers gray.... we will be finding out this coming weekend..

I gave up one night shift at the agency, since our gas hit $3.37 yesterday, the 24 mile trip ( each way) is too much to do 3 says a week. I'll miss the money, but the decision was the right one, I am already working 74 hours a week without it. I might even find some time to so art again.

I also ordered my pedal car plans finally.... a pal is going to help me build one, I'm doing the frame and he is installing the mechanical parts in exchange for me letting him use the plans to build one of his own. I am NOT paying $4/gal come summer to drive my car. Keegan and I will have a blast running to the store in this baby.... And, in other news, We hit 76 today, I miss the rain already ;)

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The cosmic forces are conspiring against me ...

Me...looking determined...